In honor of a beautiful Monday, please welcome my very first guest blogger, my good friend Natalie! Thanks, Nat!
Being Worthy of Me
by Guest Blogger Natalie Connick
When I was young, I used to think I would be a wonderful wife because I would be really fun and wildly successful. I imagined that I would grow up and be irresistible due to my high-powered career, many accolades, and quick wit.
When I was 20, I met this really handsome, fun, ambitious guy. We dated and talked about getting married and I thought, “I am really becoming someone worthy of marrying. He is really going to appreciate that I’m such a successful wife. Look at me halfway through college.”
Two weeks before graduating, I had just turned 22 and landed a job in entertainment that was way out of my league. I thought, “My boyfriend of two years will be so happy that he picked me. Look at this incredible job that I never expected.”
We broke up six months later when said ambitious boyfriend decided that he would not be able to catch up to my unthinkable accomplishment of having landed a job out of college. A marriage of sixty years would surely never see him reaching such an unobtainable plane. I was simply rocketing too far too quickly and he could not stand being with someone who earned more than he did.
Despite my insistence that I had reached only a very reasonable benchmark, that our salaries would likely vary throughout our lives, and that he may in a very short time surpass my earnings, he could not be swayed. He said that he felt he had not contributed to my success so he did not deserve to be any part of it.
I spent long nights wondering how I had so gravely miscalculated. Why did I think that being successful would be attractive to men? Why wasn’t it? In the midst of my pondering, I got the opportunity to cut my salary in half, move from west to east coast, and follow my passion.
My mom got her degree in 1984 and married that summer. She grew up in a time where it was very out of vogue to settle down. The 80s were the time of the career woman. She was sneered at and judged, but she was confident in her decision and will be celebrating her 30th anniversary this August.
She shared this with me because I have found myself becoming an adult in a time where it is very unfashionable to be single. A date is just a click away online and it is inexcusable to be without a marriage prospect halfway through your twenties.
I’m a person, however, who values the tangible and has never made much sense of the Internet. I like to have proof, something to show for my work. If I am rewarded, I want to have earned it first.
While I was busy applying this theory to relationships, I made the decision that I still wanted to be successful and desirable and something really interesting happened. I turned into a fun, successful, single woman that I really like.
I made a home somewhere that I feel really valued, I’m doing things I enjoy in the community, and I love my job. I live alone in a big city and enjoy having company. When I’m alone in my apartment, however, I’ve discovered that I like the no pressure situation of watching, reading, or writing whatever I want without worrying if anyone else enjoys it.
My life may not fit anyone else’s definition of success, but I discovered that it’s really rewarding to be worthy of loving myself. I may not always be single, or I may be, but it’s comforting to know that I will always enjoy the person that I’ll be spending the rest of my life with. Myself.
What wonderful insight, Natalie! Thanks for sharing. What do you guys think? Do you feel like you enjoy the phase you are in your life?
Please comment, share your thoughts and let me know what you think. Please help me keep this a positive forum, though. I am so excited for some debate, but let’s respect each other please. I reserve the right to monitor and delete inappropriate posts. Thanks in advance!