Ever notice how indecisive people are rarely satisfied?

They spend their time going over the possibilities that would occur if they went one way, and all the other possibilities that would be there if they went the other way. But when I say possibilities, what I really mean is that indecisive people often focus on all the things that could go wrong, or what they could miss out on if they went one way, and not the other way.

What they fail to acknowledge is that life is a series of choices, and that it’s impossible to have it all.

You can either choose Option A (and know that you are probably giving some things up).

You can choose Option B (and still give up some other things). You can weigh both options endlessly, getting more and more confused about which one is better.

Or you can weigh both options for nearly all eternity, and then pick one option just to be done with it, only to wonder if you chose the wrong one and go back to overthinking all the things you’ve missed out on and being down on yourself for making the wrong choice after all.

When I say “they,” I also mean, that I did this in the past a lot. I can’t say that I don’t ever struggle with decisions – who doesn’t? But I can say that I’ve become the kind of person who doesn’t agonize over one choice over another for ages. Or regrets a choice instantly after having made it.

My solution?

I endeavor to consider my options, and look at how each one aligns with my values. What I’ve noticed is that indecisive people rarely think about their values as they make big decisions. They just agonize about external factors or how something might affect all-important center-of-the-universe them, without stepping back and asking, “Wait a minute, what am I about? What do I believe? What do I want in life?”

Nobody can ever make the right decision every time, but we can endeavor to make a series of purposeful choices that lead us somewhere. It’s far better than agonizing over a decision for eternity or never being satisfied with the choice we’ve made.

Embrace what you have, stop focusing on what could have been.

And that brings me to the second point. The next thing I learned was to embrace what I do have. After I’d made a decision, I had to accept that it wouldn’t be perfect. I wouldn’t have my cake and eat it. But I did have what I believed was the most important to me.

I know that I am never going to have everything in life. And that’s good. Life isn’t supposed to be easy. The quicker you accept that difficulties will happen, that you will spend a lot of time sad, angry or unhappy, the quicker you will start to embrace what you do have, and live in the feelings you are currently feeling, rather than wasting your life wishing away what you have because it’s not what you don’t have. Say that ten times fast!

Kick out indecisive people.

My biggest challenge these days is letting indecisive people affect my life. Sure, I don’t struggle as much with paralyzing indecision, but somehow I’ve let people into my life whose indecision holds me hostage and drags me down.

People who can never decide what they want, and who cannot make a decision for days and months, and then just after we’ve spent hours making a decision together are exhausting.

Whether that be a parent, a friend or a romantic interest, it is never fun to be in any kind of relationship with someone who goes back and forth about you or makes you feel like you are held hostage by their mood. It is also frustrating to feel like you are being compared to others, like they think, so maybe there’s someone out there even better

Hold your course.

What I’ve recently realized is that I have to stop letting indecisive people commandeer my ship. I am on a decisive ship. I have a map before I set sail, and while I can adapt to different winds, I certainly don’t go back on myself every second. I hold steadfast to my values and the things I hold dear.

And sometimes what I hold dearest is my sanity and self-respect. I am so over waiting on indecisive people to make up their mind. Because guess what? They won’t. And when they do, they’ll back out of it because, just kidding, they weren’t sure about it, after all.

Please comment, share your thoughts and let me know what you think. Please help me keep this a positive forum, though. I am so excited for some debate, but let’s respect each other please. I reserve the right to monitor and delete inappropriate posts. Thanks in advance!

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One thought on “Indecision Kills: Being A Decisive Captain of Your Own Ship

  1. Thank you Mirabelle!!! I’ve been squandering the joy I have earned myself for weeks now. Instead of appreciating myself, I spent time lamenting a life I gave up and the choices other people made that didn’t include me. I let it consume me and drag me down, but you have put my head on straight! There are so many wonderful things I have that would have been lost if I’d chosen another path. And I didn’t anyway, so I need to just move on. You’re giving me strength when I need it. Power on girl! PS, indecisive men are secretly boys. Sounds like that guy needs to grow up or he doesn’t deserve you! You’re seriously AWESOME!

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